Theendofinnocent

Kerjaan, Kok kamu gak datang-datang yah?

2007-10-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Hm hm hm, kacau kacau negh. udah 22 taon and so far belom ada kerjaan yg jelas. kayaknya udah banyak kerjaan yang udah gw lakonin deh, mulai dari sales krim kecantikan, tukang cabut bulu, kuli tinta, malah hampir-hampir jadi agen jamu gendong, cuman sayang gak ketemu sanggulan ama kebaya yang cocok. Alasan laen karena gw sayang banget sama bulu kaki dan sampai detik ini, para consumer lebih demen minum jamu yang dijualnya gak pake bulu kaki.

Terus kerjaan apa cih yang gw mau? eh sebelum ini postingan menimbulkan kontroversi (ceileee bahasanya) ini bukan postingan lamaran kerja, gak bakal ada CV atau resume, walaupun kalau ada bapak atau ibu yang ga sengaja-sengaja bener buka ini blog tertarik mempekerjakan manusia ini, bisa dihubungi di nomor 0817992972* (demi kerahasiaan client dan penulis, nomor terakhir dirahasiakan)

Terus kalau bukan pamer CV atau resume, blog ini tentang apa dunk? well, hehe this is the tale of a teenager in his deperation seeking for job (artinya: suka duka brondong yang terlunta-lunta mencari pekerjaan) perlu diketahui, konten thread ini mungkin tidak akan berguna untuk anda, rada-rada garing, dan daripada ntar ngedumel, memaki-maki trus kursor digeser ke tanda silang di pojok kanan atas monitor dan di klik, mending sekarang aja kursornya di geser ke atas n di klik. mumpung baru kebuang 1/2 menit baca tulisan gak jelas. anyway, you've been warned.

Sebenernya kerjaan yang enak itu apa c? gw set beberapa kriteria yang gw dan mungkin lo lo pade juga tetapin dalem carikerjaan.

1. gaji . zaman gini, dimana semua harga barang pada naek, kayaknya udah gak bisa deh kerja gaji dibawah 2 juta, yah kecuali kalo semua pengeluaran u kayak kos, makan, belanja, dan biaya buat ngerumpi ditelpon dibayar sama keluarga (slash) kantor. kadang2 penasaran juga c, gaji yang diterima satpam ama OB itu berapa duit c? abisnya zaman sekarang, sarjana lulusan s1 aja gajinga cuman 1,5an. itu aja yang nilainya standard, blom kalau lulusan yang nilainya pake rotring(2.0, 1.0,1.5) bah, gajinya bisa lebih kecil kali? but kalo semua diukur pake UMR, kayaknya mendingan kerja jadi satpam aja deh, gajinya juga segitu, tinggal pasang tampang garang dikit, sama bawa piso pramuka, yang paling dipake buat ngeraut pensil.

2310 steps to the cliff

2007-10-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

The wind scatters before my leaps

The anxiety stalks me and breath heavily

Views of the peak is awing yet sad

I wonder if we are just puppets for the greater play

Sub-scenario in of a greater scene

Dusty page must be turned and eye is on its sharpest edge to burn

Do not hook me with the rapid anger

I am about to explode, holding the rim of self-destruction

A breath is held for the second round

The stairs is heavier and slippery

I pass the temptation of dawn’s breeze

Yet the path gets crueler and cold

Yet I can’t stop pain from crossbar the veins

The door of beginning is wide open on the start

Burnt in conscience and put in the middle of hell

This is the cliff of never-after

The path promises the lame eternity

The cliff promises the sharp end

Walk around up and down, up and down

The path and the cliff are as confused as me

The pact to be signed with tears lies beneath the tree

Its shadow calm nothing but the reality

Deity who stabs of confusion with anchor

While human struggle with natural roar

From: the scattered mind of Hariel

Bintang

2007-05-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

Langit yang sibuk menggumpalkan awan
lupa kalau bintang sekarat di dalam pelukan
Kutelusur yang paling redup, yang paling mati
Kuraih dalam sekejap, kutimbun di balik bantal, di bawah jendela

kisah pun berjalan, berputar dan tidak mau berhenti

buta datang, lelah cari bintang
mimpi datang, bintang mau menghilang
lelah datang, Hari belum terang
kantuk datang, lelah masih terlentang
Terang datang, sadar belum pulang
Surya datang, gelap lari tunggang langgang
sadar datang, pagi lurus membentang
bangun datang, saatnya untuk hengkang
sibuk datang, penat datang menyerang
kerja datang, dari siang sampai petang
malam datang, mari cari lagi bintang
karena sebentar lagi lonceng malam akan berdentang
dan semua sudai usai hari yang tegang

Tuhan, jangan mulai lagi perang dengan pedang serampang
biar saja aku cari bintang.
bias saja esok tersandung sebelum menjelang
biar tak lelah aku terbang
biar tak lelah bintang melanglang.

SURGA

2007-05-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

“Surga Diskon tengah malam”

Hari ini lelah lelah datang menghampiri

sudah kali ke-dua puluh satu

cinta hanya sanggup sumbang lirik lalu

senyum kecut, lenyap buang muka.

Ranting diinjak, tumbuh, kuinjak, renyuh

lampu yang bukan jalanan menghadang senyap

Kubu perang semua yang tersesat

Malam tidak ada di sini.

Pagipun hilang tiada tercari

mungkin Mereka bercinta ketika kalian

karena hari ini mereka di tengah antara malam

“Hari ini kita di surga!”

terdiam, terpejam dan rubuh berserak

Waktupun terbahak enggan berjalan,

Ditimbunpun busuknya bau busuk,

namun tak ada yang tidak mau tidak mabuk

semua kenakan ratap, bedak setebal trotoar

sembunyi dalam dongeng yang lari mengeja

Mengumpat dengan mulut bau serapah

air mata obralan dengah harga termurah.

Di sini hanya tertawa yang dibayar di muka

Mungkin juga lantai dan ranjang ikut berjoget

mengalir seiring sampah dikubur

Malam kembali meringkup di kolong bumi

langkahnya setengah habis bercinta

Rautnya memerah dan suara terbata-bata

“Ba…Bangun! Surga mau tutup.”

Stargazer's Melancholy

2007-05-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

Crawling like to me like a strophe of dreams

Pretentiously dazzling me on each of his end

Chase the dusk who sit with her supercilious gown

Falling like a feather to my shoulder

The Sorrow is buried twenty nine times

Moon seek but find nothing tonight

The grass grabs my hand and toss it gently

Caressing for the rotten burning gash

Tonight the pain is on errand

Tonight the sore pay no rent for space

Tire is haunting when thought of journey arise

My gaze get blurry

Tears falling like sands in the hourglass

So swift so my feeling drained dry out my heart

Flow like a spring in the dessert

But yet not too sad for an oases

Because love entice me with its tenderness

I adorn a mask of smile in my lips

Before seconds it crumbling

And another second pass it's vaporized

Turn into a chain of light

Embroidered right in my eyes

Bosan

2007-05-11T01:58:00.000-07:00

Lihatlah setan di atas gunung
malaikat dengan ekor melambai-lambai
ketika langkah berjenti selangkah demi selangkah
terseok-seok masuk lubang tak tahu arah

Gambarnya lingkaran di atas gunung
dengan depamu dengan hastamu membumbung
panjangnya mungkin tidak putus tidak sambung
tapi langkahnya meratap kurang beruntung

Inilah pelarian manusia yang tak cukup lihat
tak cukup lihat tak cukup puas tak cukup dapat
ketika dongeng meringkuk dengan bibir terlipat
masih tidak cukup lihat dapat kulihat

Lelah topangku berdiri
dalam sajak waktu tersentak henti
puisi tidak lagi menjadi sedih, lirih atu rintih
karena sang bosan sudah datang menagih
written : Harrier Christian

2007-04-17T04:26:00.000-07:00

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom		74%
Lex Luthor		74%
Magneto		70%
Apocalypse		61%
Mr. Freeze		54%
Venom		51%
Mystique		48%
Poison Ivy		48%
Catwoman		47%
Green Goblin		44%
Kingpin		44%
Two-Face		44%
The Joker		42%
Juggernaut		40%
Dark Phoenix		36%
Riddler		33%

Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

The Defeat

2007-04-04T04:08:00.000-07:00

Dear my defeat, my silence and my solitude
You are more precious to me than a thousand victories
unlike the earth, you cheer my heart.

Dear my defeat, who understand and against me at the same time
Through you I know Iam young and swift
Untrapped by the destructive victory.

Dear my defeat, the song of eternal wandering
In you I find my loneliness
How happy I am to be exiled and loathed.

Dear my defeat, my shiny sword and glittering shield
In your eyes, I tranquiled by insights
adored is being enslaved, understood is being despised.

Dear my defeat, the tree where hopes sheltered
Entrusted is not more than being matured
Like a fruit, ripes, rots, and falls.

Dear my defeat, the greatest partner of life
You hear my cry, my song, and my numbness
noone but you talk about flapping wing, sea roar, burnt mountains at dawn.

Dear my defeat, the invincible courage
You and I will laugh along with the storm
we dig a grave for everything thas has died in us.

Dear my defeat, climber of my steep stony soul
We stand on our own beneath the sun
We are endangered.

by : Harrier
to : Christacia Melinda Winandar and Harrier Christian

The Real Haril

2007-04-02T23:56:00.000-07:00

God

2007-04-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

In the past, when the first words trembled my lips, I climbed the holy mountain and to God I asked, "Lord, I'm your humble servant. Your concealed will is laws to me and I will obey you forever."
But God did not answer, and something which looked like big problem passed away.

One thousand years later, I climbed the holy mountain and to God I asked again," Oh Masterplan, I am one of Your plan. from a bunch of soil You formed me and I am fully Yours."
But God did not reply, but something which looked like thousands wings passed away.

And after one thousand year, I climbed the holy mountain and I said to God, "God, I'm your son. With your love and affection you state my birth, through love and praise I inherit Your kingdom."
But God did not react, and something like fog mantled the mountains and passed away.
And thousand year later, I climbed the holy mountain and I asked God for times, "My God, my purpose and satisfaction; I am Your past and You are my future. I am Your root in the earth and You are my flower in the heaven, and together we grow to the eloquent sun.
Then God bent to men and whispered sweet words to my ear; and like a sea embrace the river that flow to it, He hugged me.
And when I walk down to valleys and plain, God is also there.

My Friend

2007-04-02T00:56:00.000-07:00

My friend, I aint what I look like.
appearance is no more than clothes I wore
Fine silk that chrisalizing
From swarm of accisation and questions

"I" inside of me, my friend.
dwell in the house of silence
I will live there for eternity
unseen, untouched, unapproached

Absurd for me to make you believe what I said because my words are only shout of your mind and my notions are only realization of your dreams
When you said,"wind blows to the east", I said,"yes, wind indeed blow to the east"; because I couldn't make you understand that my though doesn't reside in wind, but on the surface of the sea.

If the day approaches you, my friend, then The night comes me. but then I speak about the daylight who dance in the back of the mountains and about the purple shadows who stole path to the valley; because you can't hear my song of darkness or my flappping wings that smash the stars- and I've been get used to get you, neither heaing nor seeing. I will be alone, befriend with the dawn.
When I'm lifted to your heaven, I slip to my hell- and then you as me to cross the laguna without bridge, "my friend, my buddy", and I will keep shout back at you,"my friend, my buddy", because no way I will show you my hell. blazing fire that will burn your eye sight and smokes that will suffocate your lung. And I love my sell so much and wish you to pay a little visit.
I will dwell in my hell...alone.
You love the truth, beauty, and wisdom; and for you, I would say,"Its good to love those virtues." but in my heart, I grinned to your love. But I can't let you see me laughing.
I will laugh... alone.
My friend, you are good, cautious, and wise; yes, you are perfect- while me, just like you, talk to you wisely and cautious. The truth is I am crazy. But I masked mymadness.
I will go insane...alone.
My friend, you are not my friend, but how can I make you understand? My path is not yours, but we will walk together, hand in hand.

Just another epic poem

2007-03-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

For Those It May Not Concern

For Those it may not concern
Just ignore these writings
You just read a page of joke
Feel free to rewind, forget, and move on
This is not poem nor artistic scratch
It’s a sign for the wanderer of the dawn
Safe your time and skip this out

For those it may not concern
Just stay in the circle and keep ignoring
Your thoughts of disregard are enlightening
Since this may not be your damn business
Put on your faceless mask and move on
Crack the door, go to shore, gain some more
Proceed and make yourself involve no more

For the one who is concerned most
You might continue the play and fix your gait
You, who act like people deserving the lines above
The one who crushed fortitude of pride and envious
He who stand higher, shout louder on the cliff
Bend me on my knee by your breath
These verses were completed for you

For the one who is concerned most
You may not the purple night bathed in stars and moonlight
The reminiscences of tender violet sunset
You may deny, yet denial will overlook you
When you asked who was that eloquent figure
Remember, smile isn’t big enough for a shelter
So I let a stout to ride my sunken friendship

For those it may not concern
You can’t after a minute you lost just now
It just disenchanted off your life forever
A hex for meddling without concern
You are not yet this epic is all about
You are the real passenger on my voyage
The never-ending cruise on the friendship

buah tangan: Harrier Christian
for: those who may concern :)

Me against the God

2007-03-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Me against the God

The Despicable mortals launched blasphemy

At the gate, malice trembled in Irony

A deity gazed in surprises

Shouted, “thee should not prevail!, The unholy”

The Earth hummed a good mourning

The agonies passed the garden spring

Saints lost thought and wandering

Yelled, “Thou should cease impending!”

The Universe danced in euphoria

The rhythms enticed Pandora

Angels unfolded wings, sang in hysteria

“Sober them back from fatamorgana!”

I barefooted myself to heaven throne

The celestial war hammer crushed my bones

Pass the gate, honey river, and church of golden

I stare at God yet no word spoken

“God, do you really love me?”

“Me with the fraud, sin and gaiety”

“Because I never did believe in sincerity”

“So just chastise me to the purity”

Overdrive

2007-03-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

I let go of the whole world
That's how I got my freedom
Maybe lucky
I just swing wheel
Living life on the rails
I wonder where we go?
Maybe lucky, maybe agony
I dare say I'm lucky
This photo-reprint world isn't captivating enough
our future is over there
This over-bleaching sunlight
Gets poured onto everybody, burn my eyes
Maybe happy, make me happy
did I say I'm happy
Don't say anythinng too noisy
because we're sinking anyway
Maybe happy maybe happy
I dare say I'm happy
This coiled up, stifling world is getting boring
Through the Byzantium, the fate won't fade
I've been reborn and now I'm completely free
Rolling free like a boulder

Just like the rolling clouds
No one can catch me
If I broke everything
I'd be reborn free again

My first amateur novel

2007-03-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

Drop Out

First, napping. I will eliminate napping portion. I have spent most of my precious time in my tiny antique bed. I sleep even longer than polar bear. Can’t help it but I’m such a sleepy head. I yawn just looking at a spring bed advertising board. And what’s worse, I’m not that delicate in terms of beds. Any unoccupied place can be my warm comfy bed. From coach, dining table, bajaj, or even toilet seat.

Second, watching cartoons. I can spend the whole day in front of the TV to watch this particular show. It is time to stop. I am ten years too old to watch a talking dog. Even after I die, Tom will never catch Jerry and Tweety will keep on running from Sylvester. Ok, I must put watching cartoons in my not-to-do list. Should I also put gossip shows into my black list? It’s a hard decision. Infotainment is a longstanding competitor of cartoon when it comes to how I spend my time. I’m a bit hesitant to leave infotainment behind. Can I survive a living without fuss over other’s problems? No! I will survive, I must. God, please give strength to Your servant who is always tempted to meddle with other people’s business.

Third, Playing cards, or maybe I better use the term gambling. It is not only waste of time, but it also drains my money until it reaches emergency level. To be a gambler is bad enough but I worsen it by becoming a lousy one. I may have the style of Chou Yun Fat, the god of gamblers, but unfortunately I don’t share the fortune. I’m not a god of gambler, but god of gobblers, father of all losers.

Still a package with gambling, I really should stop drinking. What I mean is not drinking water or soft drinks, but alcohol. One function of alcohol is to clean tape recorders so the sound is clear. But if I put it in my stomach, I sound like a broken radio. People say I get really really messy and touchy. From this moment on, I don’t want to get drunk. No more.

I have written my top four Bad habits. Four is enough for the moment, I think. If I wrote all my bad behaviors, It would take seven years and seven nights. I guess I must give a big salute to the author of “Seven Habit” .

Now I begin to write down all good behaviors that I must build from now on.

I must wake up at 5. No , It isn’t realistic. I can’t do it. 5.30 sounds better. No, lets just make it 6, I can do a little exercise. Exercise? Maybe it is only good as a slogan, but it’s impossible to be done. I should only write down things that I can do, so orphanage visit and social work should be omitted.

Next, The habit that I must develop is reading. This is the biggest problem in my life. The genius who invented paper has cursed me with never-ending torment. I just hope there will be another genius who will end my suffering by inventing stuff like a pill of knowledge. Take it twice a day, than all theories and formulas will root in my brain. I just nod.

I think that is all good habits for the next morning. I review all the things written in my last. Ops! I didn’t realize I have written this much tonight. Much more than all writing I have made in my whole life. I’m not into writing, I write only if the other option is read.

But everything will drastically change from tonight. Reading and writing will take the largest portion of my time. If I did this a long time ago, instead of extending it to the seventh year, I will have graduated already.shouting,” adieu campus!”

This seventh year in school, or to be more specific, this fourteenth semester is my last change. If I still can’t make it, I will be dropped out. I must pass all fourteen credits this semester, the last nine will be taken next semester, plus business practicum and I will be a graduated student. Yes, I will be the eldest among students in the graduation so I must start facial and aging treatment so I won’t be that “obvious” among others in the graduation.

I bear the title, “the oldest student” in my major after Kid and Dodo left me. Kid moved to another university in the remote province so he can easily graduate. He is now a graduated student with bachelor degree behind his name. He wore his Toga and immediately looking for a cheap photo studio so he can took his picture. Maybe he was afraid his lecturer would take back his degree. Everyone knows, the only reason he was graduated was his lecturers were too sick to deal with his slow processing brain.

As Kid graduated, Jay left me even further. Unlike Kid who only moved to another university, Dodo moved to another world. Let’s pay our respects for a while for my beloved friend Dodo. I hope angels up there won’t ask him too theoretical questions. Jay got 5 for his religion subject. Dodo was actually a nice person ONLY if we can see him in a drug dealer’s point of view. Dodo died because of overdose. He was too depressed with the thought of being DO-ed, instead he died because of OD. Whatever he did on his life, I pray for the best. He suffered bad enough in campus, I hope he can rest in peace. Erghh, I think my last prayer is not necessary. He must be resting in peace since he gulped a bottle of antidepressant before he blew his last breath.

Kid and Dodo were only losers who are too afraid to face reality. Even if the three of us fought our way in the wrong path, I will fight my path back to the righteous track. I will struggle in my campus and finish these last two semesters. The key of successful is already on my hands,” leave old bad habits and start the new step.”

(Yawn…) I’m going to sleep now.